Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Future Husbands: Fox Mulder

I don't even mind the midnight blue cravatte. If Fox Mulder were my husband my arms would ache from hugging him all day, and my religious bone would be happily worked-out by indulging his constant "fringe sciences" bullshit.

Monday, May 10, 2010

hey gals. just sitting here at my parents' house "working on an application," and between fielding calls from the brick about special sales i can't imagine anyone gives a shit about, and fielding calls from the ontario federation for cerebral palsy about selling my mom garbage bags/picking up old clothes (what is it that they DO over there at the OFCP?), i happened upon these:



now, my dad is kind of famous around these parts for buying weird shit (eg. antelope horn light fixture that only works on south africa's power grid, led zeppelinesque paintings that make me think he still smokes a lot of pot, motion-sensing garbage cans, etc) but i have a couple of questions about these nelly placemats (??). question the first is "dad, do you know who nelly is?" (which depending on the answer could result in a lot more questions), the second is "were these promotional materials for the release of nelly's 2002 shitshow nellyville, the only decent song on which is, i guess, air force ones?". i guess mostly all the questions are just "why?"

how are you guys doing?

Friday, April 30, 2010

sitting infront of a frey wille creepin' people out

hey buds, just thought i'd holler at you all from what is my 18th hour of the trip home! only another 13 until i get to toronto and then another 1 1/2 until i get back to the sweet pete, whereupon i will scrub off 18 layers of dead skin, drink a beer, and flop into my sweet sweet bed where i dont have to worry about my mom rolling over and spooning me in her sleep, or just plain watching me in the dark. so troy got a blog eh? miss u pal!

picked up a copy of the gentlewoman, the lady equivalent of fantastic male. too much futura font, actually looks like a sparse 70s/80s flower catalogue which is a cool aesthetic but i was pained to realize all i want is a layout heavy with hot pink, exclamation points, skanky tips for broads, and shit you can buy :/

anyways, also i know i make this trip every year, but this time i mean it, i'm really changed guys, next time you see me (at maz) i will only speak in yoda-esque inverted sentences and keep my hands clasped in humble prayer at all times. this post isnt really about anything, but let me tell you guys, last week i watched Wild Hogs, and boy! what a big movie with a little heart. When I saw Marisa Tomei was in it I asked my brother "i wonder whose longsuffering girlfriend she'll play" and turns out it's William H. Macy's. p.s. what was WHM thinking.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

happy brolympics, as well

also some shit thats been hackeysacking around my dome, because mostly i'm just trying to update this blog again:

vonda shepherd of ally mcbeal fame is just female eddie vedder, and this is what i endeavor to sound like at kareoke

just finished season three of oz, meloni kissing beecher ignited a fire in my womb that can only be extinguished by a) drinking and then sleeping? b) being kissed by meloni

also, a toast to the winter brothers, two handsome quasi irish dudes whose uncanny resemblance i chalked up to good casting!

HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINES DAY YOU FUCKS




a gift of the most egregious song ever written, but that doesnt mean its bad