Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hey Assholes

You will not silence me by pointing out I'm the only one who posts on this crep, Shmariel Shmuckley.

I've been watching a bunch of YT's of youths covering Dancing in the Moonlight by Smashing Pumpkins[sssic] and a lot of them look like real human stains but this little duder gets my vote for 2009 MVP bad cat.

ps you're my son

you girls broke the number one rule of Thin Liz, actually broke rules one and two,
1. singing "Dancing in the Moonlight" in a way where it appears it's activating your ability to make everything sound re-virged and nascently christian/ makes ya'll seem you're dfw to do stuff to boys 3 grades above you with your tiny hands, you know, hand stuff
so there's just one rule

other than that, very little is new with this guy *points 2 self with thumbs*. I almost bought an XXL Meatloaf shirt at Value Village but decided not to because the whole aisle smelled like farts.

Also went to a stand up contest and one guy had the audacity to pull a bill hicks at the end of his set (is one michael jackson joke and a retelling of buddy's beer stories a set?) and implored everyone at Mexicali Rosa's Grill & Cantina to act goodly, decently to one another. Unless it was some super advanced anti-comedy I just dont know where people get off.

EDIT!!! just listened to da girls soaring harmonies long enough to realize they aren't even singing thin lizzy, no harm done, girls :)

Friday, June 26, 2009

i mean i'm not my possessions

but shit dudes, i need this shirt

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Oh internet, I could ask questions into you for days

a highlight:

Yahoo! Answers:
Q: What happens if Bella is on her period?

pretty much like the Mermaid Problem

If there's one thing I've learned from typing open ended questions into google, it's that the internet is just a big Kids Help Phone, and everyone is worried about all kinds of things, like what happens when women pray, or when can I give my baby yogurt or can we see atoms. my standard has been googling "what time is it" because my computer doesn't keep time, but googling "how will i sleep" comforts me, and googling [my name]+ "fuck my life" challenges me. If I take it to google image search I find a lot of pictures of myspace friends, a tiny thumbnail of the albanian flag, a humorous cartoon of some kind of monster eating a freaked out looking guy, and this disturbing zenterpiece, have you ever seen anything more perfect in your life?

Friday, June 19, 2009

Not to get all Leno on yous guys

But the best part of my day is walking down to the mailbox and retrieving the mail, and sometimes leaflets from the township. It's good exercise, and sometimes I'm rewarded with the knowledge that Larry David lives in Peterborough and Hates CATS !!!
Mr. Walker let's agree to disagree.

Folksy syntax alert! I'm silkscreening this onto a patch and sewing it onto my Jansport. Did Winston Churchill say this?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

"Oh Like You Could Do Better"

Being in a car with Da Girls for some 17 hours last week was a real big throwback to a time when I wore Tommy Girl tees too short for my torso, my hair in Chun Li dumpling buns, and a smattering of garbagey bracelets on only one wrist. That time was about 2005. Just kidding, it was 2001-2002 pretty much, and whew, all that Jealous Sound and Alk Trio Da Girls played really moved something in my braincase, and my heartcase.

Always loved this song but only had about half of this mp3 downloaded. Oh man, Fireside Bowl in 1998, can you imagine? Everyone looks like they got outfitted at Mark's Work Warehouse. Look how neat and tidy their haircuts are. BrokenCYDE makes American Football look like Fugazi. Not even true. BrokenCYDE makes American Football look like The Eagles and Fugazi look like Elvis Presley.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

cant stop watching true blood all my vampires readin' this: i want to do u !!!!

click for bigger so you can see what the mild hubub is about. dear zuckerberg, a wan smile to you good sir, do you truly demand of me to open character maps just to post a funny pic on didemus' wall? apparently "citizen of the internet" no longer holds clout.

honest question now, do you guys think mark zuckerberg has the skeleton facebook key that can look at every single profile, no matter what their privacy settings are? pictures included? can he write whatever he wants on any wall? 'like' any photo or status update? this is a very serious question for slashdot probably, but all the white hats/black hats that read this blog get back to me !!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

now where did i put that dynamite hack cover of boys in da hood

file under joke music that accidentally rules i guess, thanks libby's big bro!

when I was trying to find a suitable clip for this I happened across some concert footage (frottage?) that said "Ween-Gabrielle 28th song of the night" which explains sososososo much.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

things just got a whole lot herbier

1. i want to start a band called 'father gods'.
2. last night bilyana said "oh man, i thought you were going to kiss me and i just froze"
3. who wants to do some solstice spells on the mountain?

Monday, June 1, 2009

make to me into a rich dad please!

Actual book and lecture series called "Rich Dad Poor Dad" (emphasis not my own)
Without looking into it too much I can only assume it delivers spirited financial advice broken down in easy to understand modern takes on aesop's fable of t
he ant and the grasshopper where the ant is Warren Buffet (or Tiger Woods!) and the grasshopper is Jon Gosselin (he's rich but in what, wives with stupid haircuts? sweaty bangs? gyres of unhappiness? or you could say he's poverty-stricken in the happiness dept.)

the best quotes off wikipedia:
  • "The poor and middle class work for money. The rich have money work for them." (P30).
  • "The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
  • "Mind your own Business"
On "freedom guru" Robert Kiyosaki:
Around 1996–1997 he launched Cashflow Technologies, Inc. which operates and owns the Rich Dad (and Cashflow) brand.

He's also the author of
Rich Kid, Smart Kid (the fuck?) and Rich Dad's Prophecy. He also literally wrote a book in 1992 called (verbatim dudes), "If you want to be Rich & Happy don't go to School?"

poor dads need not apply