Friday, May 29, 2009

Of all the Randy Rivers in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine

douche chills 09 throwback


So horrific, the worst part is how psyched the little kid is to see the Gotti brothers when he picks up a viewmaster from the trash.


this mournful dirge serves as atonement i guess. I showed this to deanna and she was silent with her mouth open for 3 minutes and then said "they look like gay mummers"


fuckin rights boys, what a pack of player lights sounds like, big wreck- that song would sound like du maurier king size, and counting crows- long december would sound like wintergreen skoal


AHHHHHHHHH!

Hey *smile* *waves*

Adolescent Summers in small town Ontario were a tender beast. My neighbour always used to throw bush parties in the field behind my house, where local old stoners would comment on the nice asses of 7th graders. The fair would come to town and hearts and minds where aflame at the whispered prospect of a children's beer tent shrouded in the woods. When I was 16 I got drunk for the first time on Mike's Hard Dial-A-Bottle. At the time I had a crush on a dude I met in Summer School who used to send me Jerky Boys mp3's over icq. He was the first dude I 'dated' (went to West 49 with). I knew I 'arrived' when a notorious AA hockey player told me my boyfriend was a faggot and punched a locker. He dumped me as soon as he got his G2 license. At the time most of my clothes were from Sirens, but if I had a bit of extra money, I'd shop at Bootlegger, or Jean Machine in the Lansdowne Mall. Sometimes I'd go to Toronto with buds and strike up convos with burnt out hippy jewelery vendors, rocking on our heels thinking we were sooo mature and sooo cool, but actually just doting on weird old guys who's sole income was selling silver anchs to tourists, who only talked to us because they thought we though we could catch a wang.

Well, a lot has changed my friends, for instance, my hair is longer, and I live in my parent's house unemployed by choice, I no longer wear shirts from Black Market usually. So knowing what you know now about Small Town Ontario, is it a good idea to bike along what is ostensibly highway to my local LCBO for some solo-beers. Or should I just drive without a license. If anyone has any links to good romcoms streamed from the net please post em, or alternately, tell me your summer 09 dream list. example:

- angling really hard to be the guy who's always got a beer in her backpack, the reliable beer patrol
- go to a cottage
- find new ways to vibe even harder off neil young
- sing 'the band' at karaoke one of these days
- get and keep a tan?
- make more salads
- go to the CNE, pet animals, go on ferris wheel with family
- at least 100 high fives
- write first draft of my buddycop script
- turn 24 at pizza hut
- watch highschool musical (with friends!)
- since style cues from 2004's conceived "barrio cobain" has reached its natural conclusion, try to dress like a less messy Nick-Caves-Son, or buy a pistol pete maravich jersey online, or just try to look 1/3 as summery as bernard sumner in this live bbc performance. Look at his cute shorts! He's a Canada-Day-Long-Weekend-Paddle-Boat-Ride-Around-The-Lake incarnate!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

sassy swagger chip





which robot is more convincing/emotional

Saturday, May 9, 2009

In the future there will be no Bride Wars

While at my grandparents house I have watched a bunch of bootlegged movies. Obviously this country loves latin-based gangster movies (Serpico, Scarface, Carlito's Way) so I have been watching those, as they are readily available, but also given myself over to contemporary Romantic Comedies ("The Other End of the Line". Certain scripts you can tell were written by people who try to improve on old formulas, or think "easy peasy!", the result is static caricatures of unrealistic types that make you feel sooo lonely to watch) and Bride Wars, which ruled.

In it they talk about how every little girl imagines her wedding, and whenever someone has said that to me, I've always nodded along and taken it as a widely regarded truth, always being like "naturally, what the fuck else do little girls think about" BUT, here's the kicker, I've never really given it much thought? In that it's unlikely to happen? But further when I do think of it the breakdown looks like this:
Who: Loser of a pact made with me to "marry when we're 35"
What: Dank Civil Ceremony
Where: No windows
When: The capacity to dream dies
Why: Fear
How: Drinks afterwards at O'Flannigans

So open question, do you dudes think of actual weddings and dresses and shit? Are you more of a Hathaway or a Hudson? I think weddings are def. nice to attend, I've only ever been to huge impersonal blowouts, so I don't know the flipside. Bride Wars is such a good movie.

Monday, May 4, 2009

About Dang Time

It was just so noisy and unbeautiful before. Cant wait till she tackles part II! Contender for Summer '09s Party Anthem maybe?