Sunday, September 14, 2008

GRITTY CHILDHOOD



busting out the neon green gel writer. One word for puberty and that word is "unfortunate".

OMAN, EPPS?

Now that I'm home and a cool nightmare wakes me up at 5:30AM everyday, I find myself filling a lot of hours that would normally be passed on my stomach drooling into my pillow. Last night for example, I rehashed the past and turned on a movie that made me try for cornrows in 2000. Anyways, here's a sexy clip from Love and Basketball, which at the time I had no clue was my introduction to Kate Bush. This might not work because you gotta be 18+ to witness something so satin:





Almost as good as our attempt:

Thursday, September 11, 2008

please give me a job


dear Potential Employer,

i am seeking a position wherein i can build upon my knowledge and experience. i received average grades in a bachelor degree in psychology, which i am pleased to say seems to have bumped me right to the front of the rat race. my three month stint with unemployment can be chalked up to an issue of over-qualification; most employers are intimidated by my resume, but you, you Potential Employer i sense will not be scared off so easily.

my marketable skills include, but are not limited to: swift internet searching; familiarity with sleeping in; loves cats.

i think i would be able to bring a laid back attitude to your institution, which all of the employees would probably enjoy; i could help you get no-ties-allowed fridays into full swing. i am interested in working in your institution, as i believe a job would put an end to my keith-urban-level dabbling with alcoholism. if you don't decide to hire me, make it a harsh rejection. this way, in the very least i could spiral down to a more respectable robert downey jr. level of substance abuse. nobody likes a fence sitter, and know this Potential Employer, i am NOT a fence sitter. i will go all the way for you, sir!

the last position i held - laying on my parents' couch in my underwear until 4pm, and sobbing (incredibly well) to made for t.v. movies about teen activists - taught me that i much prefer working and having an income, than not doing so. so you can be sure that i will not quit this job. my options will be too scarce to leave, Potential Employer.

i believe that with my skills and experience, i would be the perfect candidate for working with the young children in your institution and look forward to your prompt reply.

sincerely,

amy